Behavioral Therapy 101
It sounds obvious, but most therapy doesn’t start here. Behavioral therapists asks: What are you doing? How is it working? And is it aligned with what matters to you?
At its core, behavioral therapy is about understanding what we do — not just what we think or feel. The goal isn’t to “fix” you. It’s to observe patterns with clarity, reduce behaviors that no longer serve you, and increase the ones that do. Whether we’re talking about procrastinating, panicking, doom-scrolling, or picking fights with our loved ones — behavior doesn’t just happen. It happens for a reason.
Here’s what all behavioral therapies have in common:
1. We Focus on Behavior
Behavioral therapy asks what you’re doing — and how it’s working. Not in a judgmental way, but in a data-gathering way. We look at how specific behaviors (skipping meals, avoiding texts, overcommitting, etc.) move you closer to or further from your values and goals.
To do this, we often use behavior monitoring — a structured way of tracking what’s happening between sessions. Think of it as a habit tracker, but with more purpose and less self-shaming. It’s a way to collect real-life data with consistency and curiosity, so we’re not relying on memory or vibes to figure out what’s keeping you stuck.
The mission is to increase adaptive behaviors that support your life — like assertively asking for what you need or getting yourself to bed before 2am — and decrease the ones that keep pulling you off course.
We don’t expect perfection. We expect patterns. Which leads us to:
2. We Look at the Context
Your behavior doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It exists in a world full of relationships, obligations, and cultural cues that shape how we act. Behavioral therapists are always asking:
“What’s going on around this behavior that might be keeping it alive?”
Take social media, for example. Let’s say you’ve been meaning to finish a paper, but instead, you find yourself watching every Instagram story ever posted. It’s not laziness — it’s context. Maybe writing prompts dread. Maybe your phone is next to you. Maybe the algorithm is designed to keep you engaged and disconnected from your to-do list. That matters.
Behavior is a response to your environment — not a character flaw.
3. We Search for Function
Here’s the part most people miss: “maladaptive” behaviors usually work. They reduce distress, create connection, distract from pain, or offer control — at least in the short term. In behavioral therapy, we want to understand the purpose the behavior is serving.
To do that, we use tools like the ABC model:
Antecedent – What happened right before the behavior?
Behavior – What exactly did you do?
Consequence – What happened afterward (internally or externally)?
This helps us identify the reinforcers — the positive consequences that make a behavior more likely to happen again. Once we understand the function, we can start to change it — not by shaming it, but by validating it and offering new options.
For example:
You self-criticize after social events.
→ It helps you feel in control, like you’re preventing future embarrassment.
→ But it also increases shame and isolation.
Behavioral therapy doesn’t say “just stop.” It says, “Let’s figure out what this behavior is doing for you — and if there’s another way to meet that need.”
4. We Teach You How to Do This Yourself
Behavioral therapy isn’t something that should stay confined to the therapy room. The goal isn’t to need us forever — it’s to build the skill set to analyze, adjust, and improve your own behavior as new challenges arise.
We start by helping you change one current behavior. But the deeper goal is to teach you how to spot patterns, assess them with clarity, and make meaningful changes on your own. You don’t need a therapist every time life gets hard — you need a framework that helps you respond to it. That’s what behavioral therapy is built to offer.
The Takeaway
Behavioral therapy is practical. Compassionate. Sharper than it sounds. It’s not about fixing broken behavior — it’s about understanding it, contextualizing it, and changing it in service of a life that actually feels like your own.
And that’s kind of the point.
-Megan Donohue
